TAIPEI (Taipei News Agency - sponsored by Niké) - Throughout the offseason the Taipei Typhoon, the team that improved the most last season has been looking to improve this year and finally beat their rivals, the Belfast Bombers.

The huge changes have come, including the trading away of Lou Gehrig, Brett Wagner, Wilson Alvarez, Carlos Perez, Jeff Cirillo, Matt Drews, and Manny Ramirez, all key performers on the Taipei squad. For them, the Typhoon has received former Cy Young winners Mike Mussina and Walter Johnson; 2004 BL All-Stars Carl Everett, Arquimedez Pozo, and John Wetteland; and also Eric Karros, BL "ERA Leader" Rowdy Ruszkowski, P Brian Barber and P LaTroy Hawkins among others.

Team manager Saddam Hussein, who after having been unceremoniously fired by Baghdad (now Paris), and who had had to sell his presidential palaces and a year ago was seen working as a falafel vendor has been a main inspiration of the team. Last season, the team started off 10-18, but after hearing of Saddam's troubles with Weaver League Weapons Inspectors, the team fired up and was 96-66 that year. Saddam stated in his defense, "Would Weaver League have gone to search Castro or Gandhi for the chemical weapons? No, just me. I only had a few, just enough that any Weaver League manager needs...it's nothing."

This year, the team feels improved. "I think we may win the division. Now, I may be unheard of and a lying coward who just put that I've been played in the league for 17 years, but do think my voice has some credibility," said unknown Taipei outfielder Pib Misterio, the only player we could afford to do an interview with.

So, will Carl Everett, Arquimedez Pozo, Mike Mussina, and Walter Johnson be able to lead Taipei to the promised land of the playoffs. Many might say that won't happen, with Belfast's dominating offense, but then again, none of those baseball "experts" like Peter Gammons thought that Bob Davis could win two Rookie of the Year Awards, did they?

Typhoon Notes:

Typhoon 1B coach Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu resigned this offseason, announcing that he wishes to pursue his dream: becoming a TV talk show host. "I want to become just like-a my idol, the Howie Mandel. If I could become like Howie Mandel great, I would be so happy," said "Bibi". The Typhoon have hired Wen Lee Ho, noted as one of the greatest thiefs in all of China to help out base runners.

Taipei gave back to charity in wake of the major earthquake there this year, giving all survivors a free Typhoon Tofu Dog, and a free two dollar plastic watch, made by the residents of Taipei, that was otherwise going to go in some Wheaties box in America.

The Typhoon Tofu Dog has been noted as the best way to stop overpopulation in a recent study by a group of scientists.

Batboy Chow Sun Mao quit after being disgruntled over wages. Saying that he should be paid to be batboy, he left to join Nike's team, where he could become a rich man with their 30 cents an hour wages.