Massiv Ups Yourself Weaverball,
First Round Picks and Pans from Ali G
(Courtesy of da ali g translata)

LONDON (AP) - A friday night alone, wiv my bitch out of turf. i barely slept last night in anticitapion of dis awesome first round, so i’m stayin in again and writin dis killa wicked article. wot betta way to show my weava spirit than a wicked batty fashioned first round of da ammi draft report. fresh off da presses, in da house’s my picks and pans.

now don’t anyone get offended, dis is just my opinion, i’m no expert, and am aye and unabashedly exaggetarin fings a bit fa da sake of ruk, dig any wicked reporter would do. without furtha introduction, in da house’s your first round, weaverball, ali g style man!

Ach, Yah! - Vancouver picks P Pat Easley wiv da #2 overall pick. by my estimations, easley was da wickedest overall pitcha in da draft. is pitches is already maja league quality, and addin just 20 points on is control should make im wicked enough to start. not a ard pick to make, but a wicked one.

Nitcht-Nitcht - Johannesburg, feelin low about da overall quality of da draft, closes their eyes and takes P Joey Hernandez wiv da #1 overall pick. he is probably one of da top 5 pitchers in da draft, but not outstandin in any particular area, and probably not da right pick wiv da #1 overall.

Ach, Yah! - Hong Kong selects 2b David Peters wiv da #21 overall pick. peters is young, a switch itta and as solid ratings all around includin da ighest PH of any 1st round second-baseman. four were selected in da 1st round, but i think dat HK got da pick of da litta despite takin da 3rd.

Nitcht-Nitcht - Hong Kong selects P Edd Leonard wiv da 15f overall pick. ok, its wicked dat he as two ‘d’s in is first name, and he does throw side-arm, but there is 3-4 well similar relief pitchers in da pool who did ave almost identical make-ups, and no one else as bittun yet. i don’t check wot makes leonard particularly special. but thun, i’ve neva won a weava league title, so maybe i could learn somethin from da dragons.

Ach, Yah! - Amity selects P Bobby French wiv da 18f overall pick. weatha yous dig or don't dig da french is up to yous, but dis kid should be a well successful pitcha, and was a check at 18 overall. despite da low as, is pitches is wicked fa is age, he throws from da side and as wicked modifiers. if he can push is CO above 60, evun if is pitches don’t budge anotha point, he will be a solid starta. if he can make anythin else move, he will be quite an arm. ok, maybe i’m gushin a little in da house, but its my article and its my scene damn it, and it bitchs me out!

Nitcht-Nitcht - dis may be a little picky, but i didn’t particularly care fa Chernobyl pickin P Gary Blume wiv da 7f overall. i thought Howard and French bof looked dig betta arms, and a numba of da positional prospects would ave bin betta picks as well, for real Rf Renfoe, who went 8f. granted, dis is a weak draft, but usually a knuckleballa dig blume would ave bin mid 2nd round.

So anyway Weaverball, yous know dat da first round is about ova, but don’t worry about it it, keep on checkin fa da picks. bo. check yous lata.