SAN JOSE (AP) - Alright, here's the deal. These are the preseason power rankings. Yes, we're over a month into the season already, but just like a fine wine these power rankings are much better with age. Actually they're probably more like day old donuts... mmmmm, donuts.

From Weaver League Galactic Headquarters in San Jose, California, the 2012 Not-Quite-Preseason Power Rankings, this season courtesy of Los Angeles Riots owner Travis Burnett.

1. LONG BEACH LOBSTERS - The Lobsters get the nod as number one on the heels of their improbable Weaver Series victory over the Cozumel Mayans. Ace hurler Mike Castro has given this franchise a new identity after only one season with the team. His second consecutive Cy Young winning season, was capped off in grand fashion when he twice defeated Smoky Joe Wood in the WS. At 24, CF Sam Thomas, is primed for a shot with the big club, but will Lucious Harris be able to find AB's for him?

2. COZUMEL MAYANS - After backing up their 133 win season of 2010 with 131 last season, the Mayans dominating pitching staff has dwindled to only eight arms. Whether this fact is actually going to hinder the team is yet to be determined, however. With 10-time Cy Young winner Smoky Joe Wood leading the charge, anything is possible--even another 120 win season. Of course, with back-to-back 130 win seasons, you can't put any win plateau out of reach. The offense has lost Darrin Erstad to free agency, so the duo of Jim Thome and Ryan Klesko will be further relied upon this season.

3. BORA BORA SURFRIDERS - This franchise didn't miss a beat in 2011. After 13 seasons and four Weaver Championships in Belfast, new ownership made the controversial move to Bora Bora--trading away an MVP (Ed Santos) and a Cy Young (Mike Castro) winner in the process. But after capturing the franchise's eleventh consecutive Barnes pennant, the Surfriders are set to begin a run all their own. A young Tris Speaker will move into CF this year and lead off.

4. LOS ANGELES RIOTS - Despite finishing 27 games behind Cozumel, the Riots finished 2011 with the fourth best record in the league as Sendai Ashikaga garnered his sixth-consecutive MVP trophy.. While Ashikaga makes a run at seven straight, the rotation will rely heavily upon former Cy Young winner George Canate. Canate, acquired at midseason last year, was mostly injured after the trade, and will now need to be a dominant factor if the Riots hope to derail Cozumel, while also holding off New York. Trades for Charles Peterson and Jason Bates will compensate the FA loss of Micheal Coleman and retirement of Qual Vero, but with 10 key players 37+, this might be a last hurrah for this group of aging veterans.

5. NEW YORK NUKES - Gone is former ace Hideo Nomo, but Willie Mays is here for his first full season as a Nuke and that has been more than enough to excite this city. Although a couple of question marks exist in the lineup, the team has young Fred Hawkins ready to go if he is called on. Donnie Mackiewicz, 24, seems poised become an integral part of the lineup, and certainly has all the skills to become an IL All-Star. With the deep staff this club possesses, along with the power Mays, Mackiewicz, Rogers Hornsby, Tony Montana, and Rasul Salahuddin will supply, this Nukes club could run with L.A. to keep the Lockwood competetive.

6. HONG KONG DRAGONS - These Dragons finished 2011 with their fourth consecutive 100 win season, but it was only good enough for their fifth consecutive second place finish. Right now the only thing in Hong Kong more confusing than the stock market, is trying to figure out how to climb ahead of Bora Bora in the Barnes Division. One thing the Dragons have going for them is a deep veteran staff. Leading the staff this year will be last season's trade acquisition, Tim Adkinson. Adkinson, who won 21 or more games seven times for Belfast, will be looked to ring up 21 for his new team. With Brian Barber and Joey Hamilton pitching behind Adkinson, the Dragons have three arms capable of 20 wins. Helping the pitchers win games will be the Blizzard League's most productive offense. Led by Honus Wagner, this lineup batted .290 in 2011--good for third best overall behind L.A. and Cozumel.

7. HAVANA CIGARS - After Joe DiMaggio decided to call it a career at the end of 2011, scouts for the Havana Cigars announced the defection of Vida Blue into Cuba. The 21-year-old Blue is a hard-throwing lefty who should become an immediate Cy Young contender. The loss of DiMaggio's bat in the lineup does hurt the team, but being able to send Blue to the mound every five days will be reassuring for a team that has lacked an arm of his caliber. Without DiMaggio, Ron Hausmann will be forced carry a little bit more of the load. Hausmann has supreme abilty, and will likely finish his career in the Hall of Fame, but he will need to create more scoring for this offense. Entering his sixth season, Pavel Chmura will need to show more than his .271 BA, .and 306 OBP of 2011.

8. AMITY WHITE SHARKS - Despite falling to Cozumel in the ILCS, Amity gave their fans plenty of excitement in 2011. The White Sharks reeled off 10 consecutive winsat the end of the season to capture their eighth consecutive Polanski crown by one game. Now, after 11 Polanski division titles, three Inferno League pennants, and a 2001 Weaver Championship, longtime owner Jim Schmaltz has sold the franchise to Max R, and thus beginning a new era for the franchise. With basically the same team returning from last season, Amity still has the ability to win the Polanski. But, as always for the White Sharks, their pitching will determine whether or not they advance to playoffs. With old closer Joe Guillen lost in FA to rival Bombay, Jeff Suppan will reclaim his old role.

9. RIO DE JANERIO CAPYBARAS - Rio continues to remain competitive despite being in the midst of a slow rebuilding of the team's base. Before last season they dealt off Ryan Klesko, Joe Roa, Sterling Hitchcock, and Ozzie Thornton to Cozumel, but still managed a respectable second place finish. Pitchers Dutch Leonard and Felipe Lira will lead the staff this season, but with Lira rumored to be available, there's no telling how long the current team is going to be held together. Gabby Brumley remains an MVP candidate out of the leadoff hole.

10. HONOLULU VOLCANOS - Just when it looked as if the Volcanos were going to break the dry spell, and finally win another Polanski Division title, they were run over by Amity. Now they are going to have to give chase to Amity again this season--only this time without team leader Jim Edmonds. After hitting .334 with 46 home runs and 114 RBI's last season, Edmonds decided call it a career. With Edmonds gone, second year man Mitch McCoy is going to be counted on to make up some of the lost production. Luis Budnick needs to show more than the .228 he has hit thus far into his career. The staff Honolulu has assembled is consistently productive and led by ace Gail Simons, who has baffled opposing batters the past two year's with his repertoire of fastballs and curveballs.

11. SICILY GODFATHERS - Unfortunately for the Godfathers, they seem to be struggling for some sort of identity. Although there are talented players in place such as Akeli Jackson, Brant Brown, Wayne Hu, Gus Whippet, Edward Sandoval, Ericson Reduta, and rookie Dave Meiss, but as a team these guys just haven't come together. Last season, Sandoval had a breakout season, but more of these guys are going to be more productive if Siciliy is to compete. The pitching staff should be deeper than last year. Livan Hernandez is gone to Jamaica as a free agent, but Carlos Perez replaces him, and the lefty should be more productive. Dan Serafini had his first 20 win season last year, so he will be counted on to repeat that feat as the number two starter behind ace All-Timer Ed Walsh.

12. BOMBAY ELEPHANTS - Unless moves are made to improve what is a solid team, Jim Palmer will remain Bombay's only claim to fame. The offense, led by veteran Marcelino Reams, is above average, but not great enough to make up for some of the team's pitching shortcomings. After Palmer, there are proven arms such as FA acquisition Joe Guillen and Hal Ditmar, but others such as Walker Krehmeyer and Kelvim Escobar remain inconsistent. To hold up with Amity and Honolulu this season, Bombay will probably need to bolster it's staff. Youngster Tom Foutz could be in the rotation by the middle of the season. Luckily there are other talented players around to let the staff slip up from time to time. First baseman Robert Castillo has as good of skills as any other first baseman in the league.

13. VANCOUVER MOUNTIES - After struggling under .500 for so long, this franchise finally has it's feet planted firmly on the ground. After finishing with 75 wins in 2011 (2nd best record in franchise history), the Mounties hope to make a little bit more noise in 2012. Babe Ruth--at 40 years old--is the team's marquee player, and just the guy to lead a blooming franchise into the next generation. Strapped with exciting youngsters such as Jim Tipper, Dick Simpson, and Eric Gomez, the fans in Vancouver are starting the realize that there might be something else to do besides dream about hockey. With Denny McLain going out every fifth day, a Babe Ruth solo homer could net a win, and that 1-0 score has folks thinking playoffs. And who woulda thought you could ever say that about a team with Brenden Fraser on it's logo?

14. STOCKHOLM SWEDES - The Big (Michael) Barton is back and he's brought his team to Stockholm. After owning this same franchise when it was the Atlanta Rebels, Mike decided to bring it to Sweden after the bikini team (to your left) made an offer he couldn't refuse. Baseball fans in Stockholm couldn't have been happier to welcome Ernie "Mr. Swede" Banks. Unfortunately the rest of the team is exactly what the old team name was--a Disaster. There are some solid players in place, notably Kris Kotsopalous, but just not enough to keep afloat for an entire season. Some solid but unspectacular vets comprise most of the roster--a roster in dire need of a make-over. The state of the team leaves two choices--either scrap some vets and work with youth or keep what is there and see what happens. Either way it should be a fun season in the sun with the team mascots.

15. TEHRAN KNIGHTS - Last season these guys hit 362 homeruns--83 more than the Nukes, who hit second most. With the recent acquisition of Lou Gehrig that number may only go higher. Gehrig, Weaver's all-time homerun leader, could gun for Reggie Sander's record of 65 in Azadi Stadium. The team purged some of it's depth to acquire Gehrig, but with him in the lineup with along Jose Guillen (55 hr's in '11), Juan Williams (51 in '11), Matty Dauss (2011 ROY), and Ruben Rivera (injured in '11), they may just club everyone to submission. Allen Watson has been added into the staff behind Nolan Ryan, but the rest of the staff really has a hard time getting anything going at home. If the offense pours it on, so the pitchers don't have to worry about giving up runs then the Knights could surpass .500. That may end up being too difficult a task.

16. CAIRO SCORPIONS - Stan Musial is the main man in Cairo, but the question is for how long. Having already dealt Jason Bates and Rondell White the purge of veterans will most likely continue and Stan The Man just may be next. After three seasons that netted 86, 91, and 89 wins, the Scorpions are going to press the restart button and go at it again. Behind Musial there are good players like Ron Patrick, Jr. and Rocky Coppinger, but the star power just isn't enough to compensate for a lack of depth. And with a farm system that is void of any top drawer talent, it will be likely that the best players here will be gone by the trade deadline.

17. JOHANNESBURG STEELMEN - Over the offseason the Steelmen went out and dealt for two top tier arms--Bob Warren and Jason Schmidt--to add into the rotation alongside Steve Trachsel. To do that, though, meant dealing off Charles Peterson, Al Harding, Rafael Hitchcock, Chris Walsh, and the #8 overall pick in this year's draft. That is a steep price to pay for a team floundering behind Cozumel, New York, and Los Angeles. With MVP candidate George Sisler at first base, though, you can't fault trying to jumpstart your staff to try and jump into the race. Look out for Joe Bell as a possible rookie of the year. The sweet swinging switch-hitter is limited defensively, but with Sisler in place, he can make for a perfect DH to compliment the middle of the lineup.

18. EDMONTON ORCAS - Tired of losing, the Orcas were one of the big shoppers at last year's deadline. They brought in Yogi Berra, former MVP Russ Johnson, Jermaine Dye, and then in FA nabbed Darin Erstad. Combine those four with Todd Walker, another former MVP, and you have yourself some pretty potent bats. The only problem now will be getting the very young pitching staff to hold the opposition. Pete Alexander is here as a steadying influence on the young arms, but guys like Lee Valdes, Don Brett, and Gene Aspromonte are only 23, 24, and 22. They all have some experience under their belt, but they're still green and not yet ready to take the team to it's goal of the playoffs.

19. ARGENTINA ARCHERS - The Archers seem like a team that has forever been moving in the right direction but for some reason has never reached any of it's destinations. After two second place finishes in '07 and '08, things have gone belly-up all over again. The team seems to banking it all on Carlos Guillen and Vito Bradley to lead them to a pennant, but they just can't do it alone. Micheal Coleman was brought in to shore things up at third, and he will help, but he's not enough. Arms like Rufe Rollins, Jose Pett, and Billy Percibal are gonna have to be light's out to get back to .500. Next year will be a more likely year for the Archers to make some noise. Watchout for young righties Billy Schwarz and Adonis Botting to make the jump to the big club as early as this year.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Travis did a very thorough job on the first nineteen summaries but didn't have enough time to finish the last few teams, so I did the last five. I didn't have too much time myself to whip these up, so if you don't like these last five you can stick it where the sun don't shine. (Jim)

20. CHERNOBYL MUTANTS - The Mutants might have a halfway decent rotation in a few years with Lefty Grove leading the way. They've got some good pitching prospects in the low minors that could contribute in a year or two, but in the meantime the Mutants are gonna continue to share the basemen of the Polanski Division with the next team on our list...

21. PORT LOUIS DODOS - As opposed to the Mutants, the Dodos best hope to climb into the upper division could be the respectable lineup they may be able to piece together in the near future. First baseman Hank Greenberg is still only in his mid-20's and free agent pickup Jhonny Perez is still in his prime at 32. Waiting in the wings are impressive prospects at catcher (Jesse Powell) and second base (Tommy Gooch).

22. JAMAICA RASTAFARIANS - Pitcher Horatio Barnes seems to be emerging as a very good young pitcher, although there seems to be some question as to whether he'll be around for the rest of the season. Like most teams at the bottom of the list the Rastas have a few prospects that could provide relief... but not this year, right now they're still the Bumbling Rastas we've all come to know and love... or at least to know anyway.

23. BERLIN BREWMASTERS - Same story, some good prospects in the minors that could lead to a brighter future, but their present is bleak. The best news this franchise has had in a while is that they managed not to finish last in the power rankings. That distinction goes to the ugliest thing to hit Japan since Godzilla's last bowel movement...

24. TOKYO TSUNAMIS - I could go on about the promising prospects that the Tsunamis have acquired and developed over the last few years, they probably actually have the most impressive group of prospects in their low minors of any of the teams I've reviewed... BUT they finished DEAD LAST in the power rankings! Nothing can change that fact, and for that they should feel shameful humiliation for the duration of the season. Better luck next time, losers!